A lack of empathy?

There's a couple of things that have been on my mind lately. Actually, there's usually at least ten things zooming but here's the main two.

First of all, I don't know why the term 'birth defect' has not been rendered politically incorrect. I prefer 'congenital issue' as I said on the blog of John Elder Robison http://jerobison.blogspot.com/ .
But since it hasn't, there are two important things to remember:

--At one point in time, being born without gills or fins was a birth defect.
--A defective amount of empathy does not a defective person make.

I think c.i.s can best be characterized by a "lack of". A lack of: a whole heart, spine, body; intelligence needed to live an autonomous life; hair (in the case of alopecia); sexuality; empathy; and a host of others, but you get the idea. It's not our brain, or even the way we think, that is the birth defect--it's the lack of empathy.

I'd like to clarify the last two. Sexuality and empathy are two components of a human being. If I had to choose which one I had to go without--no contest-I got lucky. (Of course, asexuals might say the same about us!) Asexuality is the lack of desire and it is that lack to me that makes it a c.i. (birth defect). That is not to say asexuals are defective!!

One of the many things about today's society that doesn't make any sense: To me, sexuality is like hair color. As long as you're born with it-it doesn't matter what color it is. I'm a brunette-I find the thought of hating someone just for being born blonde ridiculous. Does anyone have an opinion? (One not based on a book written by a bunch of old men 1800 years ago that has been ignored for convenience when necessary? More on that in another post.)

Secondly--the lack of empathy that is a characteristic of Asperger's. Are we saying none or just a little? I'm thinking we do have some. We can be sad for ourselves. If one has to love oneself before loving another doesn't it make sense that having feelings for oneself is the baseline for being able to feel what someone else does? What do you think?